And I said nothing at all

And all those fairy tales are full of shit
One more fucking love song I'll be sick

Can you tell if I'm smiling here because I'm smiling there too?
Can you see if I say that is that and not this after all?
Can you remember even every single thing I said?
And if they mean a thing, can you tell if it's not a lie?

Do you know how dangerous this water that you're swimming through?
Do you know I'm the one who made that whirlpool that you're gonna fall into?


McFlurry Oreo

I don't know what song best describe my feelings at this moment

One week without Twitter and Facebook, and I made a Deviantart account. No, I'm not going to post any drawings of mine for the time being, because the people there make me feel so small. I love staring at beautiful drawings for a length of time, people might think I'm daydreaming. But you know, when something's too beautiful to you, you just can't tear your eyes away. I want to be able to draw like that too. I am currently trying to improve myself in certain aspects, and that does not include my social skills. 

I feel so secluded these days I've been avoiding contact with the world. Not to mention how shitty Twitter has been treating me these days, I can't even get the home page to load fully without receiving a message saying "Looks like Twitter is having problems loading the page. Maybe you should reload the page and try again later" and so I reloaded the page for a hundred times and tried again for another hundred later and I can't seem to get it to load completely. So I resorted to doing fan arts again and got my hands busy and stained with the colour of pencil lead. I wanted to upload but I guess I'm too lazy so I'll just tell you like this; it's a fan art of Howl, Sophie and Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle teeheehee. Or make that two fan arts. And now I can't stop!

I need a break. I need to go somewhere I guess. I really need some private time of my own. I feel so burdened by so many things and I think it's killing my spirits. Probably a runaway vacation perhaps? Alone.


When I dream, I dream big

Nothing much to say really. Simply made a post just to promote my brother's video that he made for a contest, kekeke. Here, click this link and go watch it there. The more views he get, the more chances for him to win. I think his video is kinda interesting. Nicely arranged and pretty creative. To be honest, it's like a vlog already LOL.


Yes, ni memang ada unsur-unsur KPop sikit. Bagi yang haters terhadap KPop tu, takyah tengoklah. Sekadar click link tu and tekan play kejap cukuplah. Then takyah tengok sampai habis kalau taknak membazir air liur bagi comment2 haterz pulak. Tapi sebenarnya takde apa pun. Cuma memperkenalkan satu budaya lain yang mungkin kau tak pernah jumpa selama ni. 

Oh ya, aku sekarang tengah menikmati cuti pertengahan semester. Been watching movies (to be exact, Studio Ghibli ones), helping mom and dad paint the house (if you still don't know yet, my house is currently under renovation) and found a new Korean Drama that I might like. Love Rain. It's currently airing on KBS World. As usual, I forgot the airing time. My brother's the only person in this house who's following all these Korean things so I depend on him to run to the TV whenever there's an interesting show going on. 

If my brother wants to go to Korea so much, do you know where I wanna go? I want to go to Japan. There's so many places in Japan that I'd love to visit. Someday I'll go there. Bila dah kaya.


Happy Birthday Wowo!


She's someone I just knew from my fellow Jelawatians. A very super cool lady and is setting her path in becoming a successful architect. She is also very passionate in art, although I've never seen one of her pieces but I know she must be a talented young lady.

Not really knowing her long enough, I am quite surprised by how I adore her personality. Very deep down inside, I wish to be spirited and independent like her, but in my kind of way. 

Amboi rasa malu pulak mengaku perkara hati (heart things) ni LOL. Semoga dia tak baca blog kita.

Anyway, the video above is our dedication to her, from all her friends and her family. Eja contacted all the people and asked them to send in videos, and I did the compilation and editing job (like I always do). Voila. 13 minutes of blessings and love.


Kaze Ni Naru

After publishing the previous entry only did I discover this amazing instrumental cover of Ayano Tsuji's Kaze Ni Naru (Become The Wind). This honestly made me smile. Well then, enjoy!

I am the sleepy head

I'm broke, as in I have no money. And it's mid term break, so I'm not getting any pocket money either. But I'm happy because I don't have to go to classes, so I am grateful enough. 

Yesterday I went shopping with my Jalan Jelawat homies. We went gift-hunting for a friend's bitrhday, and we did it like a gangstah! Acewah. Penat tau, malam baru sampai rumah. Sampai rasa dah malas nak buat semua benda sebab dah kerah tenaga jalan kaki semalam. Pergi dua tempat je pun, bukan pergi Jepun. Eh? 

Hmm pergi Times Square dan Pavilion sebab kami duck duck Pavi yaww. Haha. Lalu tumpang duduk dekat KLCC lalu pulang. Rasanya dalam minggu ni akan ada Pavilion 2.0, sebab dah janji dengan orang nak pergi melawat dia dari haritu lagi. Penatnya -_-

Anyway, siapa nak bagi saya duit, boleh lah contact-contact. Saya cuti seminggu ni. LOL actually siapa ada bisnes nak bagi bolehlah bagitau. Tengah free ni. Nak mintak tolong buatkan layout blog ke apa ke, mu kecek je. Nak beli Monavie contact Hawa, sebab saya bukan abang gedegang macam boyfriend Zue eh eh eh ewahh eh. Kbai.


What am I?

Sometimes I am planned, but mostly I'm spontaneous
I am used recklessly all the time, but always forgotten
I am an invisible ink that disappears from the memory within seconds
What am I?

Such a hectic day ahead. I can't wait for the mid term break. Which is next week. Running on full blast as well as out of money. Until I find some time to live.


Just an update.

Currently enveloped in the coldness of INTEC library's computer lab. It has been a long time since I last came here. Even a longer time since I last used any computer here to update my blog. Sitting here brings back memories. 

Anyway, I'm supposed to be finishing an assignment. Class has been canceled this morning, and I feel nothing at all. I just want to go home actually, but then I have class at 11.30 so Hawa and Zue decided to finish our Poetry Journal assignment. The assignment I'm supposed to be working on too. Look what I'm doing now.

I slept late last night. Around 4 a.m, talking about music with a few people. I needed the conversation, because it has been some time since I am able to talk about the things that I'm passionate about with people who feel the same. So I slept happily. And woke up a bit late. Feeling hungover walking to class is not a pretty feeling. Finding out class has been canceled after a miserable walk to the faculty is worse. My eyes hurt. My body's giddy. 

I just want to think of what to eat this afternoon. Or maybe they're gonna have some brunch later on. Until I post a better entry. 


Studio Ghibli

I keep falling in love with anime characters. Can someone bewitch me and turn me into an anime character now? I said now.

So far, I've watched about 7 of Studio Ghibli's movies. My first was Spirited Away, which was about a girl who got spirited away into a very alien world where she met a boy dragon and a whole bunch of weird characters. And then there was Grave Of The Fireflies, and My Neighbor Totoro, and Kiki's Delivery Service, and The Cat Returns, and Howl's Moving Castle, and just now I watched Whisper Of The Heart. I have to say that for many many years, my favorite has been Spirited Away. 

But since a few days ago, after watching Howl's Moving Castle and even reading it's original novel written by Diana Wynne Jones, I've found a new favorite. 

Notice that I usually embed videos of songs in my posts but I reduce it's height until you can not even see the video? And notice that sometimes I embed videos but I leave them in their original size? Well when I leave the videos big enough for you to see, it means that I have something to show you. 

It was because of that audio video above that I suddenly felt the urge to watch the movie. 

Well not really. It's actually a long story, but oh well; it started from Sungha Jung's fingerstyle cover of the song above, and then I searched for an original and found this one, and then I found out it was actually a theme song for one of Studio Ghibli's movie, and then I googled for a synopsis and found out it had an original novel, so I downloaded a PDF version of the novel and started reading, tried looking for online streams of the movie but failed, went home and reported to my dad that I'd love to have a CD of Howl's Moving Castle very badly, forced him to the shopping complex the next day and found out there was not really any shop that sold the movie as a single movie, so I ended up buying a whole collection of Studio Ghibli's movies instead. 

So now I have 14 minus 4 of Studio Ghibli's movies to watch instead of one (I have already watched the 4)! 

I love my dad lots, because he introduced Studio Ghibli to me.

"I'm no man's burden. I want to be of use." - Shizuku, Whisper of the Heart

Oh I must warn you though, a lot of Studio Ghibli movies are kinda weird and freaky in a way, for those who haven't watched any. I can name a few like Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away and even Howl's Moving castle. But there's something about those weirdness that I find myself being fond about. They're kinda heavy and most of them are about 2 hour duration. But if you're a fan of fantasy genre movies, this might be your dish. Enjoy! 

Picture taken by my brother


A Wishing Star

I'm starting to feel bored.
Maybe because of this mundane routine.
I need adventure.
And maybe you'll say "Be careful what you wish for"
Don't worry, just bring it on.

I've been wondering.
How does it feel to have people telling "I hate you"
straight to your face?
It must hurt.
That's why I don't like telling people I hate them.
But I'll show them.
In hopes they'll understand.

And if I had known Diana Wynne Jones earlier
my childhood would have been much better.
And I would love to have a music box with the song above.

Thank You.


Love Beyond Words

April Babies...
Venue: Ben's, KLCC
Date: 11th April 2012
Time: Night and afterwards.

Nussow & Eja

Love beyond words
is like the rainbow after a morning rain...

like the neon lights of the city midnight...

like the echoing song of a Mockingjay bird...

like a field of grain by a country lane...

or that blonde young lady waiting for her flight...

Neither is it too cold or too warm...

or too dark or too bright...

And when you put it there it would feel just right


Happy birthday April babies! I have nothing to offer you people but this small poem which I have been writing mentally since last night. And in class this morning only did I manage to take them out as words on paper, because the temperature was too cold I just had to give something for my hands to do. 

Thank you for putting me somewhere among you people, though I don't really belong there, but I have never felt like an outcast whenever I'm with you people. Even though I barely know some of you. 

All the crazy blurry pictures, I love them all in a way not even words can describe.

Baby Apocalypse

It's 4.30am and I got class at 8.30 tomorrow morning.

So this is all for now. 


Happy Birthday Fyfy Liew !

Pada suatu hari di bulan April...

tetiba je pink dekat pipi dia dah hilang. Cih lupa tambah tadi -_-''


Selamat hari lahir yang ke 17 buat Fyfy Liew! 

I'm not a talented singer, plus I am terribly shy to have a video of me singing and posting it up for people to see, so I drew this instead. I don't know what to call this. It's an anime-sketch version of you, Fyfy! LOL sorry if it's a little messy, but I hope you like it. I hand-drawn this in my sketch book and scanned it into the computer manually. 

Happy birthday to you Fyfy Liew :D! Tahun ni SPM, jadi saya doakan awak dapat straight A's untuk semua subjek! Habis sekolah, awak boleh kejar cita-cita dan jadi orang yang berjaya. Looking forward for the day till we meet each other. Sorry pasal projek nak buat kolaborasi cover song yang tak menjadi dulu hikhik :p... Keinginan tu dah ada, effort je kurengg LOL. BTW, may the odds be ever in your favor!


Selamat pagi Lily

Kakak borek, adik rintik. 

Aku tak pernah tau apa maksud borek tu. Tapi tengoklah tu, lukisan Lily. Ya, dia pun dah pandai guna photoshop sekarang. Sibuk sangat nak melukis sama lepas tengok aku lukis kanak-kanak kentang tempohari. Jadi aku pun ajarlah dia guna photoshop. 

Key tu sebenarnya Key daripada kumpulan SHINee tu haha. Aku pun taktau kenapa dia suka lukis orang petak sejak kebelakangan ni.

Nak cakap perkara serious jadi nak gunakan bahasa Inggeris dari sini.

Let me give you an analogy. A girl bought a strawberry flavored lollipop, savored it for a while, but suddenly decided it didn't taste good anymore. The girl threw it away. She went to another shop to buy a new one, an apple flavored one, and loved it. Somehow, she decided to look back and felt sorry for the strawberry flavored lollipop that she threw away, while devouring the apple flavored one without guilt. However, she found out that the strawberry lollipop has already found a new owner. Someone who enjoyed and cherished it dearly. The girl felt sad and sorry as she ate the apple flavored lollipop that she held tightly in her palms.

I'm trying not to judge you, or her/him, or them. But in this case there should at least be one victim and one 'criminal'. And the rest would just be people trying to move on with their lives. Or lollipops, trying to find someone else to eat them.....Or whatever.

Jom tubuhkan band sendiri jom?


Party Pooper

Harini hari Sabtu. Dan cuba teka aku dekat mana sekarang? Dekat Jalan Jelawat!

Eh kejap, apa pulaknya Sabtu. Dah pukul 2.21 pagi dah pun. Maka dah Ahad lah ni.

Apa yang peliknya tentang situasi di atas? Eh haruslah pelik. Selalunya weekends aku dekat rumah ibu bapa. 

Tu lah keadaan terkini di rumah ibu bapa sekarang. Baju putih pegang tukul tu pekerja indon tukang pecah-pecah dinding rumah tu. Dia lah pekerja paling berdedikasi, sebab tu mak aku ambik gambar dia sorang je LOL.

Tau tak apa itu 'party pooper'? Pentahi parti. Apa itu pentahi parti? Modul Kemahiran Insaniah itu pentahi parti. Okay tak. Modul Kemahiran Insaniah di hari Ahad itu pentahi parti. Lagi tahi bila hari ahad kena bangun awal dan laburkan sepanjang hari untuk satu benda tu je. Aku nyaris-nyaris emotional breakdown tadi. Well sebenarnya, dah emotional breakdown dah pun dalam kereta sewaktu nak bertolak kembali ke Jalan Jelawat. Tapi apakan daya, lara di jiwa tak siapa yang tahu. Tangisan yang mengalir tak siapa melihat acecewahh.

Mood kembali cerah apabila Lily muncul bersama lawak 'cekodok LOL' nya. WTH. Tak jadi nak beremo-emo lama-lama. Nasib baik kau comel nak mampus. 

At least aku masih ada masa nak berjaga malam tidur lewat untuk online dan blogging. 

Dan aku tetap aku. 

Pehh takde kaitan langsung. Nah gambar kanak-kanak kentang yang dilukis ketika terperangkap di dalam bilik adik pagi tadi, Terperangkap sebab rumah tengah huru-hara kena bom. 

Dah tak bogel dah. 


Under The Hemlock Tree, and Far Away

Growing Old by Matthew Arnold
Design by Robert Frost
Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden
There's a Certain Slant of Light by Emily Dickinson
If I Could Stop One Heart from Breaking by Emily Dickinson
I Am Not Yours by Sara Teasdale

I'm not a poetry kind of person. I might be poetic some of the times, but I'm not really into poetry. But today, I have been introduced to the list above. Most of them were too bombastic for my fragile mind, LOL. However, I found some of them to be really...hmmm...I can't seem to find an accurate word for this. Ah well, it was the kind that you could relate to. Like the one titled Those Winter Sundays, by Robert Hayden.

My poetry lecturer told us that this poem is one of the popular poems around the poetry world. I can see why. It's not very hard to relate to this one, even though it has quite a deep interpretation. The moment that girl who presented on this poem told us about the meaning behind every lines and stanzas, I knew this was the one. I somehow felt a little jealous why I wasn't the one meant to present it instead. There was this feeling. It's the one feeling I have been trying to describe ever since. I found it in this poem. 

And then I felt contented. Like a self-achievement.

What did I know, what did I know
Of love's austere and lonely offices?

As You Like It

I just realized the potato kid I drew above looks kinda naked when put beside a clothed potato girl. But oh well, it's a potato so I hope potatoes don't have those things. You know what I mean. 

I find it hard to agree to myself today. I despise everything I do and think of. And I'm supposed to be busy doing work. Serious work, I mean. Look at what I'm doing now. Listening to Pink's Fuckin' Perfect and drawing potatoes on photoshop. And updating my blog talking about how I hate myself. You don't wanna know what I've been watching today. 

It's all crap.

I've been having flu for a few days now and my face is itching all over because of it. I can't wait to be home with family and doing things that make me happy. I seriously feel like running away from my own body right now. 

Oh and yeah, I just destroyed the right-arrow function on my keyboard. 


Saya nak kahwin dengan awak please?

Sebab sebelum pukul 12 malam tadi adalah birthday kawan aku yang ke 21, maka semua orang buat-buat sembang pasal perkara serious. Termasuklah bab kahwin kahwin. Tau tak umur 21 tu adalah umur legal untuk kahwin? Okay lah, sebenarnya asalkan kau dah baligh je maka dah legal untuk kahwin. Tapi bagi budaya masyarakat Malaysia ni, selagi tak habis sekolah sepatutnya tak payah lah kahwin dulu. Susahkan ramai orang. Unless yang sekolah tu adalah si perempuan dan dia kahwin dengan lelaki yang kaya raya maka takpelah.

Bila dengar ada kawan-kawan yang dah plan nak tunang, ada yang dah kahwin dah beranak pinak dah pun, ada yang mak dia dah suruh kahwin sekarang, aku jadi cuak pulak. Taktaulah apa nak dicuakkan sebenarnya sebab bukannya ada boyfriend pun. Tapi bila kau takde boyfriend tu lagilah patut cuak sebenarnya. Nanti bila kawan-kawan semua dah kahwin kau tinggal sorang anak dara tua. Na'uzubillah jangan lah jadi macam tu, tapi tu contoh.

Bagi aku, umur 23 tu mesti makcik-makcik dah start tanya-tanya bila nak kahwin, dah ada calon ke belum. Tapi dua tahun lepas pun dah ada makcik-makcik tanya aku dah ada calon ke belum jadi aku tak boleh bayang zombie apocalypse jenis apa yang akan melanda diri aku sebaik umur meningkat 23 ke atas nanti. Dulu bolehlah senyum-senyum je sebagai jawapan sebab dulu ada boyfriend. Sekarang? Nak senyum hambar jelah LOL.

Aku tulis ni bukan sebab aku desperate nak cari boyfriend sekarang. In fact aku tak nak cari pun and tak mengharap untuk terlibat dalam relationship serious untuk jangka masa yang panjang. Ada sebab kenapa aku tekankan umur 23 dalam perenggan di atas. 

Motif post ini adalah sebab ini post yang ke 160 acewwahhh haha random je bubuh alasan. Motif post ni sebenarnya sebab rasa diri ni dah tua. Tiba-tiba cari jodoh tu dah termasuk dalam senarai life priorities padahal rasa macam baru semalam kena marah dengan abah sebab kantoi ada boyfriend time sekolah LOLOLOL. Kbai


Abang beca di tengah jalan

Bukak twitter orang sibuk berpantun, bukak blog housemate tercinta pun ada pantun jugak, jadi aku rasa terpanggil untuk turut sama menjual pantun bernilai 1 billion rupiah. 

Saya tahu saya hebat,
Kalau berani meh la datang dekat

Acewwahhh. Okay lagi satu lagi satu.

Saya tahu saya gembira,
Jom main batu seremban sama-sama?

Fulamakk berbakat jugak aku ni. Bahaha. Tadi ada orang merengek text bagitau dia tak boleh tidur. Nak tau apa jadi lepastu? Dia tertidur ketika text dengan aku. Nampak tak betapa hebatnya aku ni? Haaa. Sesiapa tak boleh tidur bolehlah text aku lepasni. Sila dail 1 300 13 1300 McDelivery. Eh? Salah pulak. LOL cari sendirilah ya awak ingat nombor telefon kita ni macam nombor ekor ke boleh bagi kat semua orang?

Hari ulangtahun, setahun sekali,
Hai nussow, selamat hari jadi!

Nussow tu abang aku, dari mak bapak berlainan LOL. Orang cakap muka kitorang sama, which I beg to differ. Sebenarnya sama tang pakai spek mata je. Dan girlfriend dia adalah housemate aku LOLOLOL semoga tak dipukul dengan cemeti lepas tulis statement penuh kontroversi. 

Masak cekodok di tepi kolam,
Eh, dah pukul 1.38 pagi lah sekarang,
Tipu gila mana pernah aku masak cekodok tepi kolam,
Selamat malam, babaiii semua orang!