That's what happens when you fall in love in a dream. You might never see him again.


"What is this place?"

"This is anywhere you want to be. It's your desire."

She looked at him, confused.

"Who are you?"

"I am whoever you wish me to be."

This is not helping, she thought.

"I must be dreaming."

She walked pass the unknown guy. She didn't notice it before, to her own surprise, but she was actually standing on a grassy hill overlooking a wide green plain. The greenery stretched miles and miles away, as if there was no end. The wind blew towards her face, and the grass swayed. It was a beautiful scene.

"Yes, I must be dreaming. I'll wake up any minute, on my bed, in my room."

"If you say it is, then it is. But you are standing here now, and we exist."

We exist?

"Why are you here?"

The guy looked straight into her eyes and smiled.

"I don't know. Perhaps because you want me to."

And she stood there, all speech taken away from her lips, frozen to the earth. 

All of a sudden, from out of no where, they were standing in the middle of whiteness. She looked around and realized it was actually snow. Coldness bit into her skin. The smell of pine trees entered her nostrils. The mysterious guy was still standing there in front of her, still smiling. They were surrounded by a forest of Pine, tall and towering above their heads, their leaves green despite the coldness.

"Are you cold?"


The guy approached her, took off his thick brown jacket and wrapped it around her. She looked down, feeling her blood flooding her cheeks. She hoped it wasn't because of him, but because of the coldness instead. 

"You should wear a jacket in weather like these."

But it's not supposed to be winter now, she thought.

"Let's walk."

She followed silently, not bothering to blurt out the questions in her mind. He took her hands and they walked together among the pine trees,  across the white earth surrounding them. 

"Do you like it here?"

"Uh, I don't know. I think I do."

"I know you do. Or we wouldn't end up being here in the first place."

There he goes again. Talking in riddles, going round and round.

They kept on walking, and she had only noticed that they were no longer surrounded by the pine trees when she saw a little wooden cottage in the middle of the whiteness. She peeked through a window and saw her room. Her bed, her wardrobe, everything was in it.

"Who's house is this? Can I go inside?"

"I don't know. Do you want to go inside?"

She stood there, thinking.

"Will you come with me if I do?"

"I can't. I don't belong in there."

"But I want you to be there with me."

"I will be there with you. But you will have to look for me."

They gazed into each other's eyes, held tightly onto each other's hands.

"Will I ever see you again?"

"Maybe. One day."

She slowly tuned around towards the door. Without even twisting the door knob, the door swung itself inside. She looked inside the room cautiously. One step forward. Two steps. She was halfway inside the doorway when she felt the urge to turn around and look back. 

"Don't. You might not find your way out again."

He was still there. 

What if I really don't want to find my way out? What If I want to stay?

"I love you."

It came out as a whisper. She closed her eyes and everything became a blur.


Moon so bright, night so fine
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming...


Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again...



Please blame Zue on this.


Took me days since the day I said to myself "Eh, that's one cool travel log! Looks easy too. I should try doing one." However, due to lack of materials at first, I did a slightly different method from Zue's. It wasn't easy at all. Not even close to easy T_T. My patience has been challenged to the max during the few days I spent on these things. 

But they say, practice makes perfect. 

All this was hand-made. Yes hand-made. Imagine the osteoporosis feeling I felt at the end of the day. I didn't want to use the sewing machine because I don't know how to use it. Well I can handle the basics, but I don't know how to make it go the way I want to. I mean, the end result won't appear the way I pictured it at first. You get what I mean.

I think I have pretty thick skin because I pricked myself hundreds of time, but I didn't shed a single blood *self-pat on the back*

Or maybe because I'm a vampire. Ha ha ha

Anyway, today is my brother's birthday! I hope he does not read my blog right now because the black journal is supposed to be my present for him. But if he does read this before I give the present to him, well tadaaa! Hahaha.

Happy 18th birthday lil' bro! I don't know what else to wish you other than the usual 'have a blast and may you succeed in the future', but I must remind you to download the latest Runningman episode. And please look for that episode with Hong Ki in it and download for me! Kahkahkah. 

Tomorrow I'm going off to Perlis with mom and dad. Byebye people! Siapa duduk sana bitau laa, mana tau boleh kita jumpa ke kan kan kan?



I want to spend my lifetime loving you...


He was sitting there, smiling shyly, his slanted eyes almost near to nothing because of it, trying to tell me something. I love it when he smiles like that. He looks sweet that way, it always melts me to bits. I think I was admiring his face too much, I forgot every piece of word coming from his mouth. And then he gave me something.

I think it was the next day, or maybe the same day, was it? He was sending me to music class. I was late, but he offered to send me anyway. He was a really good friend, caring and worrying a lot about me. And when we were there, I think I was very late, so the class had already ended. I did not tell him this because, perhaps, I didn't want to trouble him. He had some work to do, anyway, so I told him to leave me there. Before he left, he gave me that smile one last time, and planted a sudden kiss on my cheek. 

I stood there, surprised, and blushing madly.


Don't get too excited. It was, sadly for me, a dream.

Somehow, he looked like Kang Gun Woo (Jang Geun Suk) from Beethoven virus when he smiles. Adorable.

But then again, judging from how it went, music class (?) and all, maybe it was because I'm watching too much Beethoven virus nowadays.

But because I wanna think positively, I hope it's actually a sign. Keh keh. Please be real Mr Adorable Man in my dreams <3



I've did what I wanted to do. You can say I am happy enough. Because I am. I am satisfied. 

During this month and a half break so far, I've watched new things other than the things that I want to watch. Fyi, I don't watch much TV at home. Yes, I don't like TV shows. They annoy me somehow. I can sit around happily in the living room when the TV's turned off, do things, or maybe simply sit there, but once someone comes and switch on the TV I feel as if a whole crowd of people just entered the house. Yeah it feels like that, I don't know why.

That is why I prefer to sit in my room in front of the laptop.

Well there's one show I'm starting to love. It's a Korean variety show, Runningman. My mom loves it, my brother loves it, my two little sisters love it. Tell me why I shouldn't? It's funny as hell, never fails to make us laugh. 'Twas my brother's fault he first played it on TV one night to let us all watch. And we became addicted, the end. Haha. 

One thing I like about this show, other than it being funny, is because of the background music. With every theme they play each week, they play background music to fit with the plot of the show. And what's fun is, they even tell you the title of the music they use! 

I don't know if I'm the only one doing this, but when there's a catchy tune that catches my attention, I'd quickly take note of the title and google it down afterwards. Maybe after watching more Runningman, I'll end up with a whole folder of new songs to listen to. I don't mind that at all hehe.


Tagged by Nell

Lama tak jwb tag. Tadi blogwalking blog bestfriend, tengok dia jwb tag dari kawan dia. Aku dah agak dia dah dia mesti akan tag aku punya XD . Nasib baik tengah rajin jadi aku immediately jawab tag beliau sebaik habis membaca post dkt blog dia tu. Here it goes:

The Rules
  1. You must post this rule
  2. Each person must post 11 random things about themselves in their journal 
  3. Answer the question the tagger set for you in their post and create eleven new questions for the   people you tagged to answer
  4. You have to choose eleven people to tagged and link them to the post
  5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER
  6. No stuff in the tagging section about "YOU ARE TAG IF YOU READING THIS" YOU LEGIMATELLY (a.k.a REALLY,TRUST,WITH ALL HONEST)have tagged 11 people.

11 Things about me:

1 - I hate air sirap. They make me feel like vomiting.

2 - I used to dislike K-POP. But but then I got to know FT Island, and Jong Hoon, and now I'm one of the lot haha.

3 - I am a night person. Ideas and stuff only come after 8 p.m

4 - I have low self-esteem, and tend to easily feel insecure when something wrong happens.

5 - I am almost 21, and still watching Disney movies like Beauty and The Beast over and over again. In fact I'm going to watch it in 3D quite soon! Imma big fan!

6 - I have an imaginary cat called Pipuk. Perhaps in the future, I'm gonna own a real one.

7 - I'm not a make-up person because applying make-up consumes a lot of time and I usually wake up late for class or anything in the morning. Most of the times I'm just too lazy. I'd always just tempek my face with bedak baby Johnson, put on some lip gloss, and I'm ready to go! The most make-up I've ever worn are eyeliners and eye shadows. Probably even blushers, when I'm extra rajin.

8 - Pretty shoes just hate me. I wear slippers where ever I go, even to class. 

9 - I don't like being attached with my phone. It's such a nuisance to have to check your phone most of the times. Especially when I'm gaming or doing something I like. Well, unless I'm in love, all this does not apply haha.

10 - Yeah, give me a good game, I'll forget the world. 

11 - Totally not a good girlfriend material. 

11 Questions from Nell!

1. Latest movie yang ditonton serta pendapat tentang movie tersebut.
- I'm about to watch Beauty and The Beast next week, and walaupun I've watched a different movie yesterday, but I still wanna talk about Beauty and The Beast :p kekeke. I love Beauty and The Beast so much because it reminds me a lot of my childhood. A lot of people agree that this movie is the best animation movie made by Disney during its time and the best love story ever. I preferred this over Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty because the female character was not the damsel in distress in this story. She is independent and somehow I can relate to her because when I was a kid, I loved to read and don't really mix around well with people. 

2. Lelaki mana pada tanggapan korang lebih cool dan korang lagi suka? Ahli sukan atau ahli muzik? Pilih antara dua ni je, takpayah tambah kategori lain, hehehe XP
- I have to admit, I melt at the sight of guys who can play musical instruments like the piano or the violin or the guitar. I have this dream of having a husband who can play the piano, so he can make music for me besides making babies (LOL). It's not that I think they're cool, but I am easily touched when I listen to nice music.

3. Negeri dalam Malaysia yang paling korang suka atau teringin pergi dan kenapa.
- Semua negeri boleh? Semua negeri pun tak pernah melawat dgn gembira, jadi nak pergi semua negeri. Including Sabah Sarawak. I like to travel.

4. Pendapat pasal isu kahwin muda. Kalau ditakdirkan berlaku pada anda, menolak ke menerima dengan hati terbuka? (cepumas betul, hahaha!)
- Hmmm, tak pernah pulak bayang benda ni berlaku dkt diri sendiri haha! Pada akulah, takde apa yg salahnya dgn kahwin muda ni. Kahwin tu kan perkara yg baik. Boleh elak dosa, lagi2 generasi muda zaman sekarang ni tengok lah macam mana. Cuma zaman sekarang ni cinta je tak cukup, kena ada kewangan stabil at least ada pekerjaan tetap yang bergaji okay. Kalau tak kisah hidup susah takpelah, takde yg salah pun dengan hidup susah. Cuma nanti bila dah susah, banyak tekanan dalam rumahtangga. Especially bila ramai anak. Hmmm. There's only one way for this thing to happen to me right now, and that is if a good guy with good career stature and a stable finance comes to seek for my hand in marriage, I'll surely accept him. I am obviously not looking forward to get married early, though I really love babies :3

5. Perlu ke pilih boyfriend / bakal suami yang ada degree atau qualification dari university? Pendapat?
- Perlu kot. Unless if dia pandai cari ilmu, it's still okay for me to not have a degree and all. Cuma, like I said before, it's not easy nowadays to be penniless. You have to be extra hardworking when you don't graduate from a university. 

6. Enjoy tak belajar kos yang anda belajar sekarang. Dan kalau bekerja, suka tak kerja anda sekarang.
- Enjoy! Walaupun susah, dah ini yang aku pilih. Enjoy jelahhhh :)

7. Perempuan yang berusaha buat seseorang lelaki tu suka kat dia. Perigi cari timba atau cool?
- Taktaulah nak cakap haha. Kalau dah dia betul-betul suka dkt lelaki tu, apa salahnya dia buat lelaki tu suka dkt dia balik. Mesti lah dia nak cinta dia berbalas kan. Kenapa mesti nak kena ada istilah perigi cari timba ni? Ada dalam Al-Quran ke? Hahahaha

8. Kerjaya impian.
-Pensyarah. Fullstop

9. Kalau makan kat McD suka burger apa?
BIG MAC weehuuu! 

10. Define 'respect' tu macam mana in your own words.
- You don't like it when other people judge you, sneer towards your opinion and stand, and make fun of the things you hold onto dearly. If you don't like it, other people don't like it too. When people understand this concept, they'll know how to respect.

11. Question for nell: If you were given the chance, once, to go to the future and look at something that is going to happen to your life, what would you look at? What do you want to find out among all the other uncertainties you have ;) ?

I sincerely admit that I do not want to tag anybody because I don't want to burden people with these things. I have low self-esteem as you can see, so if I tag people and they don't do it, I will feel bad haha. Thank you and goodbye !


Vector Drawing

Like I said in the previous post, I've been drawing vector portraits recently. So presenting the three that I've already done. Two more in queue. 

My first vector portrait: myself.

 My housemate: Luluhana

 and my coursemate: Apek

It was because of Apek's that I suddenly received a surge of requests from friends to have their face vectorized. I think I'm done with five. Yes, five is quite enough for now. I think I'm starting to feel nauseous by the sight of Photoshop. I'm going manual after this. Pen/pencil on paper. 


The key has changed

These past few days, I have nothing to tell the world. My life is as boring as ever. I am jobless like I usually am, I don't go out and meet people at all, I want to travel but I cannot as always. My day would probably end up with me sitting in front of the laptop the whole day, no matter what I try to push myself to do. 

I've been drawing and doodling and using Paint to the fullest. I've also started doing vector drawings, and now I have 3 people queuing for a vector portrait of their self. I'm doing it for free, mind you. And I also bought a new sketch book to pour my heart out.

The other day, I helped a friend write down a formal letter. It has been awhile since I last wrote a proper formal letter. 

I don't like being attached to my phone. I don't like not being able to control my feelings.

I can't wait for 14th of February to come.



It's not that I don't trust you. I'm just afraid.  

My head feels dizzy when I think about it. Emotional rush had always made me feel, well, unwell. 

The reason I stepped out before was because I was tired of the same hurtful feeling that destroys me. And now I am a free bird, and a happy one, but there was more to that thing that I stepped out from. And because of that, I think I murdered all my emotions the very moment I left that door.

Stepping back in seems like a very frightful thing for me right now, even though if it's through a different door. I am unprepared and unworthy for it. I am in a state of confusion and indecisiveness. I don't know what to expect. I don't know if that door is gonna close with me inside, or close with me outside. 

Ugh, the future really is scary.



I drew my version of Belle from Beauty and The Beast on a plain A4 paper. I scanned it, did some editing and colored it using Photoshop. The outcome was satisfying. 

Belle, Beauty and The Beast fan art

The drawing I did earlier, I gave to Lily because she wanted to color it herself. She sat alone for awhile, coloring in front of the TV. She immediately gave me the coloring right after she finished. Her outcome, well, was creative. 

To be honest, I got the idea for the rose in the background of my version from hers. 



I'm feeling a little fan-artsy these days.

This is for you Jong Hoon baby. Thanks for being awesome for me. Keep on making songs for FT Island and play the guitar for me. I adore you to bits!