"So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this one's not pretend
And now you're beside me and look how far we've come
So far, we are, so close..."



The religion of peace

I don't have a lot of say in issues like these. I'm not an extremist and my knowledge of my own religion is still inadequate to be talking so much about it. But at least I know what is right and what is wrong. 

A person insulted the prophet Muhammad pbuh and Allah in his facebook status, and apparently it got viral when another person shared it. And then this person apologized. He also said that he didn't put up a status like that, and that he was hacked (or most probably hi-jacked) by somebody else. 

There are two possibilities in this; that the person was truly sorry for his act and in order to cover up his mistake, he lied. OR that the person was truly hacked (or hi-jacked) but he still apologized because he had been horribly bashed by the Muslim community. 

But in the end, you wanna know what happened? These so-called 'Fisabilillah' people who were angered by the degrading insult done by this person, had tracked down the address of  this person, went to his house, broken in, stole some stuffs and destroyed his prayer altar (berhala). 

If you call this Jihad, I don't get this really. I was angry when I first read the insulting status. Which Muslim wouldn't when you read something so horrible being said about your prophet & God? I didn't say or do anything, because there was no point in arguing through the internet anyway. But when I found out that the person had apologized and claimed he had been hi-jacked, I forgave him. Who am I to keep grudges towards people I don't even know? Even Allah forgives his creations! Even the prophet Muhammad forgives his ummat! 

I am sad. Did this person do something to your family that you had to go and tear down his home? What did his family do wrong to you? Was it his mother's fault he decided to put up a status like that IF he really did put it up! You get super angry when the other religion say that Islam is a religion of violence, but then you go and justify their claim by showing more violence; by tearing down their home and destroying their prayer altar! You people are terrorists. Muslims aren't terrorists, but you lost people are. 

I am sad and ashamed. I feel like I don't want to live in this cruel world anymore, run away to another peaceful place where I can live happily with the other peaceful people. This isn't what Allah told us to do. Our prophet got strangled while he was performing solat but he didn't fight back. True, you have to protect Islam no matter what, but there is a proper way to that. Do not give more reason for the people out there to insult Islam even more.

And if that person was really hi-jacked, then I hope Mr hi-jacker is happy with what he has done to the poor person who might end up being jailed for something he didn't do. 

May Allah forgive us.

R & J

"I'm Romeo. What's your name?"


"A pretty name for a pretty lady."

"Oh? Are we speaking Shakespeare now?"

He laughed.

"No, of course."

He didn't let her interrupt.

"This is such a wonderful coincidence."

"No it's not. Just because you're Romeo doesn't make us star-crossed lovers."

"Of course."

"And I'm not interested in you."

"I understand."

"I don't want to end up in a tragic death. I might as well avoid it now, aye?"


They stood there, staring towards each other for a moment.

"Is it too much if I ask to be accepted as your friend instead?"

"What difference would that make?"

"Well, we won't be lovers. We won't end up dying tragically. And no one's going to stop us being friends."



"Okay. But not more than that."



And he smiled. She smiled.



Hawa, update blog awak sekarang please.

Zulaikha, update blog awak sekarang jugak.

Sibuk suruh aku update blog, diorang ni dah berapa abad tak update blog sendiri. Aku bosan. Kalau mengadu bosan dekat twitter karang kena bash, kena cop "attention seeker". Dah aku bosan takde kerja, aku spam lah timeline semua orang kan muahahaha. Tak suruh korang cakap/komen apa-apa pun. 

Nak balik rumah. Ya kali ni aku nak complain sikit. Semua aktiviti nak sumbat dalam dua weekend berturut-turut ni tak awesome tau? Nak balik jumpa keluarga, makan sedap-sedap tanpa keluar duit, tidur atas katil empuk. Penuh aura negatif sekarang ni. Tolonglah jangan ada siapa-siapa rosakkan mood saya.

"You know what's not fair?"


"When you give your all to try make the people you care happy."

"What's unfair about that?"

"Oh, when they don't even give a f*ck about it when you're the one in the dumps."


A few seats away

It's hard to resist something that's only a sight-distant away from you. Because you know it's there. It's close by. You just got to grab it. 

I can't believe mere words could trigger something so powerful. Well, maybe there were other factors, but it was those words. I'm sure of it. And it wasn't even't significant. It wasn't even meant for me. So funny. 

I should do something about myself. 


Doodles and Blobs

I can't believe how unfortunate I am. I lost two of my earphones in one year. I can't even take care of an earphone, what more a person! My earphone dis-functioned. Basically, I'm sad and quite depressed. Yes I do get depressed when I don't know what else to do with my life. Especially at times like these, when I need a song or two to accompany me. When I say at times like these, I meant at this time that I have no stressful work to finish within a strict due date. Without an earphone, I can't even finish watching season 1 of Suits! *heavy sigh*

Anyway, I have KI this weekend. Despite the fact that I'm quite reluctant because I can't go back home, I'm not gonna complain. I've been going to KI for 4 semesters now, and it's not like I died every time *roll eyes*. I've had enough of people complaining this and that this whole two weeks non-stop. I don't think you'll get anything by whining continuously by not doing anything to make it better for yourself. You don't have any choice anyway.

Doodles and Blobs. Hiks


At The Time

"Don't fall for me." you said. I took that seriously, because I was sure about my feelings, and you were particularly not my type - at the time.

And we met everyday at that rooftop overlooking the city, you and your guitar, and we did a lot of duets. And we talked all day, non-stop about our favorite music. I still remember how you sneered at me for listening to FT Island, a Korean music band. You labeled me a 'K-Fag' I remember. I thought your Matchbox 20 and All American Rejects weren't any better. At least we both agreed that Two Steps From Hell and Hans Zimmer are legendary. 

"I like guys who play violins." I specified. "And cello." I added. You grinned. We laughed. I wasn't joking, you know. I was telling you the truth - at the time.

Three months, was it? It didn't seem so long, but it felt like years. During that time I thought I learned so much about you and your life. But then you changed. The way you stare when I sang along to Only One by Yellow Card that one evening, and the tone in your voice when we talked, honestly it freaked me out. You didn't smile even one bit, and dryly laughed to my awkward jokes. 

And then you picked up your guitar again - something you have never done before after we finished our duets - and you started strumming. And you sang. 

Then I see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything
I thought I lost before
You'd call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole

So you can make me whole...

And you, somehow, broke into tears. You dropped your guitar and broke down, completely torn apart by some pain inside of you. I was scared and maybe I panicked a little, so I went to you and tried to calm you down. I wrapped my little arms around you, trying to give you what I thought was a little comfort. And then you hugged me back tightly, as if you didn't want to let me go. I was still surprised, I didn't know what I felt - at the time.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." You said the next day we met at that rooftop of ours. Your eyes were red, and they were swollen. I was guessing you couldn't sleep. The rooftop suddenly felt a little colder than usual that day. 

"I'm such a pathetic guy. I shouldn't have broke down like that." you continued with a nervous laughter that sounded completely fake. I forced out a little smile myself, just to assure you that I was okay. 

"It's okay," I said. "You're human after all." 

We didn't do any duets that evening. You didn't even take out your guitar from it's bag. We just talked, and talked, and that was when I realized how so many things have actually changed since the first time I met you. My feelings would be one of them. I can bet my life on it that yours had too. At least that was what I thought - at the time. 

You took me to your studio one day, and sat behind your piano and gazed at me. There were a lot of other instruments, and I thought it was cool. 

"I don't know how to play a violin, or a cello, but I can play you this." you said before your fingers started dancing on the black and white keys of the piano. I sat there beside you and listened to the beautiful melody. That was the moment I actually realized the painful truth that I should have expected all along.

...my heart shouts "let her go, let her go"
but it doesn't listen and tells me that
it can't let her go even if I die
My heart pulls me back and says "forget her, forget her"
but it's foolishly stubborn and says that it can't...

If there is an after life, I hope we can love then
Oh I pray and hope for that everyday - goodbye my love...

And you broke down again. 

"This freaking hurts. I don't know why I'm imagining you're still here by my side even though I know you're not! This freaking hurts!" you said, crying. I felt a throbbing pain in my chest.

"Why did you leave me? Why did you go if you wanted to haunt my freaking life?! I never should have let myself into this. I told you not to fall for me!" 

That truly hurt me, you know. I couldn't say a thing, probably because of the realization that finally crept into me. Of course, I died a month ago. 

"I know I should have told you this when you were still alive, but fuck all that. I love you Carla. I...I really love you." 

Maybe if I was still alive, I would have cried buckets. But if I was still alive, we would have been happily ever after. I just sat there, emotionless, unknowing of what to say.

"I know you'd laugh at me for saying this, but I think FT Island is cool after all, despite all the pretty faces. I take back all those things I said about you being a K-Fag and all. I know it annoys you, but you're pretty when you're annoyed."

At that time, all I felt was an uncomfortable pain inside my chest, and a throbbing sensation inside my eyes. 

"I can't go on like this any longer. I can't live properly. Everything suddenly becomes all about you. I have to stop going back to the rooftop. I'm going somewhere far for awhile, to clear my messed up head."

At that time, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion.

"Shit, this freaking hurts. I...I think I have to let you go, Carla, wherever you are. Maybe we'll meet again someday, in another life. Goodbye."  

At that time, everything faded into nothingness.


When I need love...

I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day...

We all wish this would never end

Arabian Masquerade Night, baby.


Quick Update

Today was quite adventurous. Wait let me rewrite that; tonight was quite adventurous. And actually I don't really know how to put everything in words right now. I'm writing here just because. Not to mention my O button has been destroyed. It's still usable, but it's such a nuisance to press now because there's no button to press. Do you get me? 

I don't know why I'm misspelling things so much while I'm typing this. I keep wanting to write 'writing' as 'righting' -__-"

It's Thursday today isn't it. Since the last three days, I've been watching Suits season 1, watched Snow White and The Huntsmen online with Zue and Sunny with Hawa. I also drew a lot after I bought this set of colour pencils and I can't stop. There's always something to draw you know. 

And FT Island's 4th album is out. Go grab one copy if you love them like I do :D! I haven't, because I want it as my birthday present muehehehe.

And I just discovered Red. Their songs are quite friendly to my ears, and I wonder why I never heard of them before. 

That's all, I think. 



"This time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
we are never ever ever getting back together"

Tiap kali lepas cuti panjang pun mesti rasa nak cakap macam ni dekat course yang diambil. Bukan tak best, seronok je. Tapinya masa cuti tu tak banyak buat perkara yang berkaitan dengan course tersebut, maka mulalah nak rasa yang aku ni actually lagi bagus kalau pergi ambil art and design je hahaha.

Actually dah ada orang pun yang tanya soalan tu dekat aku. "Kenapa tak ambil art and design?"


That was my answer. Orang lain pulak yang tolong jawabkan -__-". 

"Sebab dia nak jadi teacher." 

Tapi betul ke aku nak jadi teacher? Tak pernah terlintas nak end up sebagai cikgu sekolah LOL. 



Summer Rain

I drew this yesterday because after a long time of no rain, suddenly it rained immensely. I added the rain effect in photoshop, by myself, after a few hours of trial and error (phew!). The rest was hand-drawn by the way. 

4 days of Studio Ghibli! I can truly die a happy lady now! Aaaaaaaaaaa! 

Hmmm, I have nothing else to say. I'm so speechless. Picture says it all I guess, LOL!


I am a dreamer

I want to write a book one day. It has been a dream that I kept since I was very young. My genre, obviously, would be fiction. Love stories don't work for me, because (I think) I'm not romantic enough lol. I tried a lot of times, writing love stories and they end up unfinished. 

Well actually, I never finish any novel I've written haha (I'm so lame). 

It's so easy to dream, but it's so hard to accomplish. 

All the stories I've written so far always end up hanging on the 50th-60th page something like that. This means that I can only write a story that is 60 page long heh. And believe me, 60 page took me like nearly 8 months to write! So if I do publish a book one day, it would be a children's novel hahaha. 

Okay, begone now you miserable heap of laziness!