I'm not trying to prove anything

In this place, what is your position to punish yourself and put yourself in a not-so-good situation? When you admit having your family and someone dear to your heart. 

I'm writing this in my blog just for you because I know we might not have a proper chance to talk about this personally. There always come things in our way, this and that and excuses. I'm not about to blame anybody for this. Even with people around sometimes I feel lonely. 

No. Maybe it's not loneliness. Maybe it's incomplete. I feel incomplete.

My story starts a long time ago, when we were all very young. I had a big dream, and you were in it. In my dream, we grew up together, ran for our ambitions with each other and succeeded in each other's arms. But you know, things don't always go as planned. Life isn't as easy as it used to be. You can't just say A and everything goes A all the way. 

Along the way in this dream, when we got separated, I met someone else who taught me another side of life. Well, he's history now. And you're still the only one standing.

I do have friends. Loads of friends. No one says you cannot be friends with a lot of people. There are no boundaries. You just have to know how to 'bawak diri'. Don't sit under that glass jar hoping anyone would come to you and ask you to become their friend. Take a risk. Offer some cookies. Buy them balloons. Or anything.

I know you for a long time. You are a good person. You are a good friend. I respect you in many ways, more than you know. There is a special place in here just for you, where no one can take away from you. I've marked it with 'RESERVED'. No one can take it. 

But sometimes this distance is unbearable. Sometimes I feel like losing you. Losing one arm would be enough. I'm okay all this while because I know I still have people. People like you. And because you lost certain people doesn't mean you have to sit in one corner and weep. Be strong. Think of the people you still have. Think of me. 

Don't avoid me. Don't hate me. Don't leave me stranded, ever again. I swear I'm going to breakdown if you ever think of leaving me behind, ever. 

Yours truly.

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