Double D

Isn't it sad when all you want is for someone to hold you and ease the pain away, but there's nothing anyone can do because you're strapped up on a hospital bed with broken thigh bones and you can't even express what you feel because you can't talk. It's heartbreaking :'(

According to the latest update, it was the nursery caretaker's careless mistake. GOD knows what happened to the poor child. Her sister had a large bruise on her cheek, which the doctor had pointed out to be a pinch mark. We all assumed it was child abuse. When the police asked them, they said they knew nothing. Only GOD knows what happened to the two little kids. 

Justice will find a way, sooner or later.

Get well soon baby Dahlia :(

101.8

My new year has finally begun. It's semester break at last! So far the plan was to finish reading all the books I bought from Big Bad Wolf, do a little doodle project, play some games and find some good music to listen to. I'm currently on my third book out of 5, haven't started on any doodle project, haven't played any games, and have been listening to a Chinese radio station since last night. 

Yes a Chinese radio station you did not read that wrongly. 

I got bored last two nights I guess, mainly because I couldn't sleep due to those sleepless nights trying to finish assignments now my biological clock is disturbed again. I decided that my playlists weren't appealing to how I'm feeling at the moment. I tuned in to my phone's radio, tried listening to Fly FM and Hitz, but they keep playing all those upbeat club techno music that I don't prefer to listen to at 2 a.m in the middle of the night. Plus, Fly FM keeps repeating that new Bruno Mars song that I don't like, like three times a day I think! I tried looking for Lite FM or whatever station that plays some soothing music but I couldn't. I suck at looking for radio channels because I rarely listen to the radio. Usually I'd listen to the radio when I'm in the car, which is inevitable. 

So as I switched in-between channels, I decided to stop at 101.8, which is My FM. The first two songs that I listened to immediately caught my attention. I got stuck straight away. You know what I did? I recorded the songs that I would like to listen to later, and then went up on google and tried to transcribe the lyrics from the part that I recorded, and searched the title of the song from those lyrics. I succeeded. And I didn't even understand what the lyrics meant ha ha ha. 

Now I've got a new playlist to listen to. Well done Atiqah.

Anomaly

Just a simple post and begone with me. I'd love to be home right now back with my sketchbook and colouring pencils. Saying that makes me sound like a child but that's the truth; and that's how I'm planning to spend the rest of my holidays apart from reading all the books my family bought from Big Bad Wolf. 

Luluhana celebrated her belated birthday party last night, and it was something I personally needed for myself. A life. I told you so many times how hectic this semester was. Last night I stayed up and went full blast on myself trying to finish my Research Proposal. In approximately 24 hours I managed to finish what others took a week. If I had done this earlier I wouldn't have pressured myself so much. And if I hadn't absent-mindedly deleted one assignment that I've completed without submitting, my life would have been a lot less difficult than what I went through yesterday and today. I had to redo one whole article review, and at one point I totally gave up on myself. How unlucky.

I owe myself a packet of Super Ring for celebration. I bought myself a packet of Cheezel instead. Darn you 99 Speedmart for not selling Super Ring. I got Sociolinguistics paper tomorrow. The final hurdle for this semester. I haven't studied anything yet. Wish me luck.

A childish post

It's so hard to write things nowadays. People around me have been talking about things that make people what they are now. I know I had a happy childhood, but that's all I know about my childhood. I don't know if that's a problem, but it bugs me. I can't tell people about my childhood because it makes me feel uncomfortable. There's this uncertainty every time, as if I'm not sure about my own childhood haha. 

Okay see I told you. I even have trouble writing it down. I wanted to beautifully put it in words how I was when I was little, but I can't because err I dunno because I feel uncomfortable about it. Trust me it took me one hour to write until this sentence right here :|

I took an online ADHD test because I was curious. Of course, to get accurate results I took more than one tests from different websites. The results were either possibly mild attention and concentration problems or moderate attention problem. Just to be safe I asked my roommate to take the test as well and she also got mild attention problem. We concluded that most people nowadays have mild attention problems because of the internet. 

Do you know I have a hyperactive body? I can't stop my hands or feet from moving even when I'm sitting. In class, when there's nothing I can do but sit, my hands will move about; either it's drawing, writing, playing with the pen, etc. When it's cold and I have to hide my hands to keep warm, I will unintentionally shake my feet. Or just fidget about restlessly. You can quietly observe me if you don't believe this.

I say I take down notes in class because it's easier for me to remember later on. Actually, that's just part of it. The reason is because I just need to write. My hands need to do something. I think it's out of habit, but yeah. I have this odd habit if you live with me under one roof you'll know. It has bad effects on one part of my skin but I can't help it because it's been a habit since I was a baby. Yes it involves my hand. I've tried to stop once but with no avail. Mom told me to stop once but to no avail. I don't know what my husband would think when I get married.

See I'm just human I'm imperfect go away don't marry me ha ha. 

Old enough to think

This is truly a short break from my heaps of assignment. I hate myself at the moment for hating my course so much. Since that very annoying person appeared in my life as a TESL student, I've been hating my days in TESL so much. I finally feel that I should tell dad about quitting this and take something else instead, like art and design or something. The only thing that's stopping me is the thought that so much money has been spent on me just for the sake of me finishing my degree. At this point, that's what it feels like; trying to finish my degree. Nothing else matters now, I just wanna finish it.

For the past few weeks I've been wondering if I could pursue my studies on something completely unrelated to the field of education once I finally finish TESL. I wanted to ask dad but I was afraid of what he might think. Two days ago, I voiced out my desire to take music class to him as we were already in a musical instrument shop. I asked him once a long time ago, but he declined with the excuse that music class was expensive. What made me ask again was when my sister said she wanted to take violin classes, and he did not appear to go against the matter. He didn't say yes, but at least he tried reasoning. That was when I saw my chance. I looked up the fees and they were still expensive, but at least I saw some fragments of hope this time. 

Somebody pull me out of this body.

Some things to share

Before anything I would like to talk about my two microteachings for my two methodology subjects this semester. The first one, for teaching reading, was okay but lame on my part. I always knew I'm a boring person who does not know how to express her feelings properly. But my lecturer said I had good voice projection, and I know that because I love to yell at people harharhar.

The second microteaching, for teaching grammar, was much better I guess even if I did not improve in the emotion part. But I managed to implement a little drama technique from that ever so hated subject so at least it's 'purposeful fun' y'know?

From this, you can say everything went well. I just finished reading The Calligrapher's Daughter by Eugenia Kim last night, but I won't write about it all here. As usual, things related to books will be published on my Silent Onomatopoeia blog. All I can say is that, it touched something deep within my heart, it triggered anger, sadness, and almost made me cry twice along the story. And what's more, it made me realize that I actually like war-related stories/film. 

Ah, distracted again. 

Before I abruptly end this post, I wanna show you something.

Jupiter went MIA. Venus got damaged only a few months after I bought it. And then I used my mother's earphone which had bad quality so I refused to give it a name. Now, Mars. Finally. Let's pray that we have a long future together.

Early morning update

I just noticed that I have never updated my blog early in the morning. Usually it's either late midnight, in the middle of the day or any other time but early morning. I think. If I did actually did an early morning update before but forgot, well you should know I haven't had enough sleep for three days now. I'm even having problem spelling words properly right now you don't wanna know how many times I keep backspacing typos.

Anyway, today's the last day of this semester. It's frightening but it's well awaited for. Remember all those depressing entries and all? Well you won't be seeing one for the next two months because I'm so happy this hell is all over. 

I skipped sleep last night to finish all my assignments that needs to be submitted by today. Note that phrase clearly. All the assignments that needs to be submitted by today, which means there's actually more. Ha ha.

Okay but just lemme celebrate a little, because I'm tired as fuck, I'm all messed up (my sleep I mean) and I really need a break. I have one more test today and a microteaching, so wish me luck. 

I have a movie date with my cousins tomorrow. To be honest I'm actually too tired to even think about going out at all. But I wanna see my cousins and I wanna go to BBW again so I guess I'll just go. I'll sleep a lot tonight so that I regain my energy tomorrow. Until then or whenever, goodbye and goodday!